Friday, July 27, 2007

It's time to see a professional...

I have decided that the mormon faith, although I am not learned in it yet, is probably for me.

Joseph Smith, in my mind, could have had the experiences I have read about. My engineering logical side says this is possible and for anyone to openly dismiss this is wrong. You see, I do not put limits on God's power. Nor do I question his judgement. If I see fraud, I report it. I see no evidence of fraud in Joseph Smith.

Moreover, the doctrines and covenants are concise and clear.

I have decided to continue down the path. I am bringing a 'guide' on board to help me understand and to get my questions answered.

One quandry this path is putting me in is I do not believe, at this time, my loving and beautiful wife is ready for this.

I think I walk alone. The only one I love more than my wife and children is God himself. So, pray for me. Pray for her. May God keep her at my side to learn with me.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Ask and Ye Shall Receive...

What was that like? Being so young and seeing God and Jesus right in front of you.

I have felt the Holy Spirit go through me like a wave. I have felt it only a few times in my life.

I am only able to imagine what it was like.

I have sought answers to my questions. In 1999 I lost my first son to leukemia. I never heard an answer as to why this happened. I have asked. Am I just not seeing it? Is the answer not there or is it hidden? If I could choose the topic in a holy meeting with God almighty, this would be on the list.

I want to ask God tonight, again, to show me his path. I seek this from God. 'Ask and ye shall receive.' My God hear my prayer.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

a new turn, a good turn?

Sometimes it just confounds me. I feel like the holy spirit is doing something in my life, but then it is hard to identify. The reason this is so disconcerting is my life has been full of engineering.

As an engineer you deal with many definitive things. For example, gravitational acceleration is a constant. I won't get into detail, but suffice it to say engineers deal with a lot that is black and white. Today I see what might be a ray of hope in my journey down the road. I am still exploring the mormon path.

Tonight I was working and it was busy. I talked with a friend and felt a warm wave come over me. Like a tide, rolling quickly in. Was it the Holy Spirit? It felt good. Warm and secure kind of feeling. Intangible. It was there, yet it could not be grasped. Funny how my intellectual side was concerned; it was an undefined variable in the equation of life. My spiritual side suddenly relaxed and said 'aaaaaahhhh'.

In regards to the tangibles...I may be expanding my business to a mormon community. I pray God gives me the light to see the right path.

Pray for me on my journey. Ask God to protect all that I love and guard our future.

Thanks in Advance...

Monday, July 23, 2007

going down the Mormon trail?

This is about me. This is about my footsteps down a trail. I am looking at Mormonism and plural marriage.

I have a fantastic, loving wife. I have children. I have a career and can say that I have found success. Yet there is a gap in my life. I see and feel a gap.

God love her, it is not one my first wife seems able to fill. I started seeking a second wife a year ago. I started my studies into plural marriage. I love my first wife deeply...with an intensity so great, the bond could only have been forged by God.

As I studied plural marriage, the Mormon faith came into view. I am studying it now. For the most part, it seems as though it is an acceptable form of Christianity. There are differences that have provided me with answers that I did not have before.

I have to study it more, but I think it may be the path for me.

Hunkering down and studying more.