sometimes irony just bites you in the butt

I mentioned how ironic it was that our first son died just a while after we had purchased a house and that we had just built a huge house and now Charles Jr. was struggling.

Well, now that Charles Jr. has passed away, we have decided NOT TO MOVE. Gads, everyone. Each time we move to a new home, we lose a child. What the heck is that?!?!?

So here we stay, if for no other reason than to protect our children.

I know that this is not a rational fear...that moving is not what caused our 2 son's deaths. I am just startled at how irony comes a haunting our lives.

We do not need to move. This house is big enough, especially now that one room is vacant.

wow, things are happening...

Well things look bleak for the world.

With the loss of our son, we are still recovering. His death hit us completely off guard. He was supposed to be out of the woods. Now he is gone. Seeing his empty car seat when I walked by his room is what cracked my foundation yesterday. I walked into my room and I simply prayed.

I know I will be with him celestially. I my wife is still getting past things. Even anti-depressents have not helped her. She is struggling with it even now. She dreams about him and so do I. I have put her to work on the new office we are finishing. I explained to her that I needed help completing my new engineering office and that I had no one else to turn to. The truth of it is that I need to keep her occupied to get her out of this dark hole she has crawled into. I told her I had to get this office completed so I could produce more income. She has helped me paint and finish walls. By the end of the week, we should be ready to set up desks and move my computers and software in, at least that is the hope!

I am having trouble sleeping.

Financially, we have circled the wagons. I have frozen corporate plans to create any jobs. Instead, I have paid almost all debts off. I am now in a good position to weather the storm. We will, by the end of March, only owe about $5k. Given what we DID owe, this is miraculous. I have to say things have slowed down IMMENSELY. However, as of end of March, my ownly debt will be my home, of which I have paid 42%.

This is my testimony.

For all the lay people out there let me say this....

There is no bottom in sight for the crashing economy. We are headed down for the foreseeable future. The FIRST SIGN of the end of this downturn will be when the housing market bottoms out. I do not see this happening any time soon. We are headed down and the landing will be hard. Put your trays in their upright positions and place your head between your knees with your hands on top of your head...this landing will be rough. My advice? Buy enough food for 3 months for your family. We have (and with all the kids/ladies in our homes you can guess that this is a lot).

The first step to recovery, is banks lending.

the media today...

I do not trust the media today. Several people have asked that we participate in 'documentaries' and these have ended up being a farce; nothing but slanted. They misled people as to what plural marriage and the Principle are about.

I respectfully decline. I do not know if this most recent request is legitimate or not.

I do know that the credibility of journalism is almost non-existent. After the last election, it is clear that objectivity does not exist.

We have experienced bigotry against us already. Why in the world would I risk more.

If this offer is legitimate I have to say thanks, but the trust with journalists does not exist; we respectfully decline.

Time together and God heals...

I took the ladies and kids to a hotel near a job site I was on. Has an indoor waterpark. Given that it is subzero OUTSIDE, a good time like this helps.

We are talking about Charles Jr. and we also pray. I know, one day, I will be with him in the Celestial Kingdom. Does little to comfort us now.

For now, we circle the wagons. We stay together as a close family. We grieve together and we talk about Charles Jr.

Pray for our daughter, who watched her brother die. She is only 8.

Unbelievable Sadness!

Well, there is REAL bad news. Our son, who survived all this and had clear sailing ahead of him, has died.

We were told by the medical exam that they have no idea on his cause of death. I know he passed in his sleep. I woke, he was not breathing. I started CPR after calling 911 and handing the phone to his mom. My wife was hysterical, but CPR was more important at that moment than anything else.

I was told by the EMT's at the hospital that when they arrived he was already gone. To their credit, they tried anyway.

My wife was blaming herself for days even though she clearly did nothing wrong. I was told this was common for mothers who have recently lost children.

We were totally blind sided by this even. Shock was total. We do not know what to say or do.

We now believe that there was a hidden, undetected problem he had and it is what contributed to this.

We appreciate prayers. We are quite upset, especially his Mom and I.

doing GREAT!

Well our son is doing good and the ladies and kids, as well as myself, are ecstatic.

Our newly built home has been approved! We are getting ready to move in.

Business is OK but market is shaky.

We are paying down all debts. Would rather have created new jobs, but with the market so precarious, we will instead attack our debt. Low overhead is the theme.

Jr. is doing good and steadily gaining weight.

I am REALLY looking forward to moving in.

difficult times that galvanize a family...

Well, our son is doing OK. I am sorry for not having posted in so long, but I have been stretched thinner than thin. I had a record quarter of business in my company. I have a son who is about 14 weeks old now and has spent at least 10 of those weeks in the hospital due to his heart.

Tomorrow is his big day. They will fix his heart. There are 2 holes in his heart, one in the upper chamber wall (ASD) and one huge one in the lower chamber wall (VSD). The surgeon doing the work is a crackerjack surgeon who has personally performed this operation over 70 times with a batting average of 1.0 meaning she has never ever lost a patient.

Are we scared? YOU BET. Are we sure all that can be done has been done? We are.

I think our son will fare just fine. It is up to the Lord. We can only do our best with what we are given and the rest is his call. I am OK with it.

Now, it is a time for IRONY. When our first son was ill we had just bought our first house. We were updating it when his leukemia. We came home 8 months later...our new home was complete but our son was dead.

This month, we are finishing a new house. We are almost ready to move in except we are in the hospital and surgery is tomorrow. He WILL get to see his house. However, the irony has not slipped past us. We pray to God for success tomorrow.

Pray for Charles Jr. our son. It is a dark time. It is not as dark a time as it was 10 years ago...but difficult times can galvanize the bonds of a family. Ours are rock solid.

Thanks to all of you for your outpouring of support and love. My family (all of them) appreciate it.